A Rush of Blood to the Head
by spikesbabygirls
Summary: Marriage. Such a simple word, but complicated meaning. Spike and Buffy can't seem to figure out what it exactly means. So when do they? Or do they at all?


A/N: First of all, yes I'm going to continue The Witch of Blackbird Pond. I just am taking a break from it for awhile. Sorry. Anyways I came up with another storyline. I don't know if it will be any good, but I'm going to try. I hope you guys enjoy and please review, it means so very much. Thanks!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Sometimes people just need someone to hold their hand on the scary roller coaster called Life. No one ever said the ride was going to be smooth. Sometimes your ride could last five minutes and sometimes it could last one hundred years. The only smooth part of the ride was getting off it. The hard part? Well, simply being put on the ride. That's where all your troubles start. Or is it after you fall in love with someone? Wait, maybe it's not even falling in love. Maybe it's being alone with no one to hold your hand when fear takes over you on that big drop.  
  
Whatever it is, Life is the roller coaster everyone rides. Whether you have someone sitting with you on it or you're by yourself. Time was precious on the ride. You could get off a moment too soon. If you had only stayed on for a couple of more minutes maybe, well maybe you would have seen how the big drop wasn't frightening at all. Maybe it would be even a little...fun? Or is that too crazy?  
  
Both Buffy and Spike were on the ride, Life. They were sitting together and reaching over the seats in front of them and holding onto their children's hands. So why did both of them want to get off the ride so quickly?  
  
Simple. They had their children's soft, little hands held in their's, but they didn't have eachother's hands in clasped together. They smiled at the children as the ride picked up its speed, but never at eachother.  
  
Buffy put the sandwiches in the paper bags and wrote the children's names on them. One for Emma and one for Ryan. The kids ran down the stairs and hopped up on the stools. They grabbed their spoons and dug them into their big bowls of Cheerios.  
  
"Hey, there guys. Slow it down."  
  
"Can't Mom! The bus is here. I saw it outside through the window," said Ryan as he dropped the spoon and jumped off the stool. Emma copied her older brother with a bit more trouble. She was only five and too small to easily get up and down a stool.  
  
"Well, okay, but promise you'll eat good at school?" asked Buffy with a pout.  
  
Ryan smiled and hugged his mom. " Promise. Love ya."  
  
"Love ya too kiddo."  
  
"Bye Mommy!," said Emma, squeezing her mother.  
  
Buffy kneeled down and kissed her daughter's forehead and smiled, " Goodbye baby."  
  
They were almost out the door when they heard their names. They turned around to see their mother roll her eyes while holding two paper bags in her hands.  
  
They grinned and ran back for the bags and left once again. Buffy sighed and watched as they boarded the bus and took off towards school. She put the peanut butter and jam away and swiped the bread crumbs and spilled jam off the counter with a towel. She turned the faucet on in the sink and began washing the dirty dishes.  
  
Spike walked downstairs in his black suit and buttoned up shirt. His hair was not gelled, apparently not having enough time to slick it back. He came down and mumbled a good morning and poured the hot coffee in his traveling cup and grabbed his briefcase with the other hand and left the house. Buffy let the warm water from the faucet pour down on her hands as she watched Spike get into his BMW.  
  
The ride had been smooth until the roller coaster tracks broke and the ride moved on broken pieces of wood, bumps all along the way. Spike had a large income so the kids were well dressed and fed. They lived in a big enough home, Buffy had a nice SUV and could simply enjoy not working because of Spike. She liked being a full time mom. It was nice. The sharp object that had broke the wooden tracks was their marriage. Spike's job had been keeping him from being the father he should have been. The father he wanted to be. Buffy and Spike had fell in love in the ninth grade. Young, but in love. Not like they hated eachother now, it was just now, instead of feeling warm and fuzzy inside when they were around eachother, they felt uncomfortable and weird.   
  
The fights had started since that one day when they were at the beach, having a family's day out. Spike had gotten a call on his cell phone and was told to come back to work since they were so busy. He was the CEO of Los Angeles's Gas and Electrical Company. What did Buffy expect? Of course he was going to be busy. He came home at three or sometimes four and left around the time the children did.   
  
They hadn't had sex for months because Spike had been too tired. They never went for sunset walks by the beach or out for dinner to have a peaceful night with no kids. Buffy was taking care of the kids all by herself. She was the one with the juice and snacks at Ryan's soccor games. She was the one who watched Emma do ballet beautifully. There was always an empty seat next to her and she knew her children hoped that maybe, for once it would be filled by Spike. She couldn't blame them. She used to hope too until she knew it was no good, but everytime the kids had practice and they asked if their daddy was going to come, she would shrug and reply, " We'll see."  
  
She didn't have the heart to tell them no. Dinner at six was attended by Buffy, Ryan, and Emma. No Spike. There was always a plate set for him anyway. It was left untouched though by the end of dinner time.  
  
Saturday was Ryan's big game and she knew Spike would not come. But he had to. Ryan had secretly told her that for his birthday, which was last week, that he wished for his dad to be at the game. When he had told her, Buffy had almost broke down and cried. God, Spike wasn't even there for the kid's birthday.  
  
Buffy turned off the running water, realizing her fingers had become all wrinkled. She was going to make sure that Spike was there for the game. Not that she wanted him there for herself, but for Ryan. Buffy went upstairs and changed into a simple black dress and put one some black, high heeled sandals.  
  
She put some make up on and brushed her flat ironed hair back into a half pony tail. She grabbed her black purse and left the house.  
  
She ignored the stares she got from Spike's workers. They had a right to stare since Spike had never introduced her to any of them. They watched in shock as Buffy opened the door to Spike's office. No one was allowed to do that. No one dared, Spike would fire them immediatly. He was to always be called before anyone came in his office.  
  
They all crowded behind the door, wanting to hear the conversation that was to go on in his office.  
  
Buffy stared at Spike, no emotion showing in her eyes. Spike looked up after a couple of seconds.  
  
" Don't you knock-"  
  
"No."  
  
"Buffy?" said Spike. He got up, worry shown in his eyes. " Did something happen to you, the kids?"  
  
"Not that you would have cared."  
  
"I would have," said Spike, face carrying a look of confusion.  
  
"I could die and you still wouldn't show up at my funeral."  
  
"That's not true, love."  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"What? Love? Why not?"  
  
"Why not? I'll tell you why not. There's no love in me left for you. You don't deserve it even if I did have some. You don't even remember what it's like to have a nice dinner with me."  
  
"I've been busy."  
  
"God dammit, Spike! I'm you're wife! You promised me that you would love and cherish me forever. All I've gotten from you is a mumbled good morning. Do you know how good Ryan is in soccor? Do you? Or how Emma is invited to one of the best dance studios ever? You don't know these things. How can you tell me you're...you're busy when you've got a family waiting to be loved by you. Don't we matter. Don't the kids matter?" By now, Buffy was on the floor on her knees, silent tears making their way down her rosy cheeks.  
  
Spike stared at Buffy and carefully knelt down and put his hand on her shoulder. When she didn't object he pulled her into his arms.  
  
"All...All I've wanted is to have you just hold me. Even it was only for a minute. I just wanted to know if you still loved me. Just a tiny bit?"  
  
"I love you, Buffy. I've always had."  
  
"Then why has your work always come first?"  
  
Spike didn't say anything.  
  
"Spike, when somebody loves you, it's no good unless they love you all the way. Your love is nothing, but a memory to me." Buffy got up and fixed her dress and wiped away the tears off her cheeks. " All I ask of you is that you come on Saturday to Ryan's game. It was his birthday wish."  
  
At Spike's shocked expressions she added," Yes, his birthday. It was last Sunday."  
  
"I know you're busy, but if you could just come, you don't know how much he'll appreciate it."  
  
Spike stared at her and nodded his head. Buffy whispered goodbye and opened the door only to have about twenty people fall into Spike's office. They all looked embarrased, but made room for Buffy. Buffy walked into the open elevators and stared back at Spike until the doors closed.  
  
A/N: Tell me what you think, please! 


End file.
